“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” So said George Bernard Shaw.

Way to go GBS. I like this quote, it translates as “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE” in my world.

Today has been about changing my mind – and acting on it.

Today I have been changing my mind about people.

People I have in fact known “for years” but in respect of whom I have recently become aware of ¬†hitherto unseen characteristics and opinions which are, frankly, making my flesh crawl.

It is Spring after all and pruning is necessary if the garden is to be kept healthy. I like that analogy, it just came to me. Maybe one day I’ll be up there with GBS with the quotes.

In common with many I have a Face Book (FB) account and a list of “Friends” (while I think about it, if you haven’t heard it please do have a listen to Chumbawamba’s “Add Me” – brilliant). I do in fact know most of my FB Friends personally and they are not just odd randoms I’ve picked up along the way. Many of them I’ve known for over 20 years and they are indeed FRIENDS. Others are people I’ve hooked up with comparatively recently and with whom I am forging good friendships which will, I hope, last for years to come.

This morning I had a list of 114. Now it stands at 104.


Because, in my opinion, FB creates a bubble in which people begin to express themselves as who they really are. They state in their Status Updates and Comments what is really in their heads and hearts and the “filters” we apply in “normal” social interaction get forgotten. And this, for me, has become a problem. I’m seeing a side to some of my friends that I wasn’t previously aware of and its generally a side I don’t like.

I’m seeing bigotry and racism and a lack of tolerance and social elitism. I have invitations to send virtual balloons and hearts from those who appear to spend all day doing nothing but haunt FB. I am asked to join obscure virtual farms and towns. My overwhelming desire is to shout – GET OUT MORE, GET A LIFE.

I don’t want to be friends with someone who thinks it OK to spout white racial elitism in the “privacy” of FB. IT ISN’T AND I DON’T WANT FRIENDS LIKE YOU

Or who posts snide comments on my posts or who manages to find the negative in every situation – GO GET A THERAPIST – DON’T PISS ON ME

Or who send me virtual balloons and begs for the favour to be returned – WTF? DON’T YOU KNOW THAT ONE DOESN’T GIVE IN THE EXPECTATION OF RECEIPT? and I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME.

And so, I’m not.

I’ve “unfriended” 10 people who are no longer relevant to this stage in my life. With the exception of one, these are people who I’ve come to know in the period 1995 – 2009 – an often less than positive epoch. They reflect my needs during that period and are, frankly, toxic.

My Progress continues.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nicky Richmond
    Jan 16, 2012 @ 21:31:33

    That was a very interesting blog post. Interesting that friends often reflect our present needs. And how transient they can be And I loved the one about the family there’s a book in there …


  2. A Life Less Vanilla
    Jan 17, 2012 @ 11:51:25

    Thank you Nicky, of the 10 I “unfriended” I’m back in touch with 1 and very pleased to be so.

    I’m particularly pleased you like the start of my family story. There’s more to come – we are “colourful” to say the least. I think the story gets better – there’s more about my grandmother’s early life and my adoptive father’s contribution to the dysfunction is astounding. Its a tribute to my mother really – she is quite amazing.


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